Welcome to my World

i cant wait to leave

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 07:33:32 GMT

I can't wait till I'm done here. I really can't. I want to start over, make new friends (not that mine suck), have a different life. I just want to forget everything here.

Cold Cold Cold

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 05:30:20 GMT

Last night was by far the coldest night of my life so far. O my gosh. ANd now I'm not feeling to great in terms of health.

So i have to work tomorrow for ten hours and i am not looking forward to it, but then again, i asked for these hours. I'M POOR!

I never seem to have a stress free day now... I am always thinking about something I have to do or that is coming up that i have to get done now. Or something will happen and everything will go crazy and there will be lots of stress. I hate that.

I am excited for Thanksgiving break. Well, actually, I'm not, but I thought i needed something at least a little positive in this entry. Lol.

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 23:51:11 GMT

i really think i am going to bitch slap my mom soon. i was planning on going up to see Renee this weekend but now my mom is saying i can't because I can't go to any colleges to visit my friends. I have had these plans forever! she says i cant drive that far. WTF!?!?!?! she was fine with it before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 15:02:57 GMT

I have missed my friends.

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 16:21:40 GMT

I HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD! THANK YOU FOR MY PARTY! IT WAS SO NICE! THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelsey and Alison planned a surprise birthday party for me with my mom. It was one of the best surprises I have ever had. thank you! I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't post very often anymore because of the fact that I don't have internet still. It freaking blows. I want it back!

I am school using the computers for "school Related" purposes. Oh yes.

I had McDonalds for lunch today and it makes me feel so gross. And it makes me not like myself even more than I already do. (I'm sorry to be pessimistic but hey. it's my journal)

I don't think i can go to homecoming this year. I can't afford it. I have a lot of changes to make right now because of money. It isn't that fun. But I can do it. It will be alright.

Willpower willpower willpower.

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 17:46:12 GMT

So... yeah. Im at Jessie's. We didn't go to 5th and 6th today. Oh well.

i want to go away. see no one or talk to anyone. be alone. not care. no school. no worrying. no dumb ass job. i dont like any of it.

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 05:26:04 GMT

So... my friends are leaving this week. Not all of them, but a large portion. I'm sad.

I loved World Trade Center. It was such a great film and deserved the five stars it got. I don't like Nick Cage, but I liked him in this movie.

I have a Dahls name tag now.... it says Adam. My name is Adam.

Yeah... i need to sleep soon. lol.

I LOVE WEEDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED SHOWTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love my friends.

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 03:58:27 GMT

MY INTERNET IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND I FEEL BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not because of the internet, but i feel better now. i talked to my daddy about it.

i is good.

Make it stop.

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 19:33:01 GMT

Have you ever been so confused and just overloaded with thoughts and feelings? I am. And I am tired of it. Ever since I was little I have gone though spouts of "bad feelings" is what I called it. I get scared and nervous and just filled with anxiety. I have been going through this since i was like, eight. I still do it. Why? I get shaky and uncomfortable and think things that aren't true. And I get worried that I am becoming something that I don't want to be. Something that makes me sick to my stomach. I pray that this goes away at some point in my life. That I don't act on feeling or thoughts that I know and hope are just that. I feel like I need and exorcism or something. I want peace in my life. I want a completeness. I have it sometimes, when I am at church or when I pray with someone like my dad. But it isn't ALWAYS there. But these thoughts and feelings are. Almost always. I wish they would go away. I pray that they do. Maybe it is a youth thing. Something that you go through as a child and teen until you are grown up and figure yourself out. Maybe I am going through some phase that I can grow out of. I beg God to make this go away. Give me a peace that will last me the rest of my life and rid me of these terrible thoughts and feelings of anxiety. Please, God.

If any Christians are reading this or even anyone else, pray to make this go away. I don't want this to ruin my life or control it. I am 16 and I want to be happy. I want to feel good and not be confused or scared. Make it go away. Please. I've prayed my whole life about it. Maybe if someone else does it will go away.

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 18:48:38 GMT

I'm over at Alison's right now. She is upstairs watching Hope Floats and I am avoiding watching it. It's sad and I don't want to cry.

So I am wanting to have fun tonight. I think that I will.

I'm tired.

I don't like work.

School starts soon.

I applied to UNI.

"I found you, Miss New Booty!"

People aren't assholes I guess.

Alison's not. (HA!)

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 01:44:54 GMT

I am watching Winter Passing at Adam's house. From what I have actually watched it is good. Lol.

I feel dead. Almost all of the time. I don't know why. I have no energy and I just want to sleep. You don't think when you sleep.

My family left this morning after being here for like two days. I miss them already.

I'm not happy with myself so that's probably why I feel so empty. That's my own problem though.

Do you ever feel like shutting out everyone just to be by yourself? But at the same time you still want to be with everyone? That's how I feel.

this is stupid.

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 18:27:50 GMT

I saw Pirates 2 the other night... i loved it. And it's all i have been thinking about.

this just goes to show how much of a loser that i am.

one particular moment made me smile... a lot. I would watch the entire movie again just for this one part.

oh yay. lol.

p.s. i love the library computers.

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 03:57:54 GMT

So I am here, over at Danny's, using his awesome internet because I don't have mine.

I want everything to be ok again. I love all of my friends and I just want us all to be happy and be together again. I am one of those people who hates change and there has been a lot of that this year. I have been struggling to get used to it and I have in some aspects. I wish that I was happy with everyone and everything. I feel selfish because I can't get past how everything affects me and my life. I shouldn't feel that way. That is ridiculous and pretty damn pathetic. I miss last summer. I do. I want to be able to "make the most of it" this summer but I can't.

Yeah... I know it's stupid... but i like them! lol

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 03:49:05 GMT

COMMENT ANONYMOUSLY WITH~~

1. one secret.
2. one compliment.
3. one non-compliment.
4. lyrics to a song.
5. how old you are.
6. how long we've been friends.
7. a hint to who you are.
8. after you do it for me, put it in your LJ and see who does it for you!

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 20:29:54 GMT

I am at work downtown right now so I am getting online to do a quick update.

I can drive now. Got my license.

I miss everything and how it used to be.

I am tired of work.

I'm confused.

I wish that I could just enjoy my summer and my time with friends but I can't seem to do it.

I'm frustrated with people and myself.

I have cramps.

the end.

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 18:33:54 GMT

The ACT sucks major butt.

I kind of have a car now. Not really mine till I completely pay it off though. Oh well. Pretty car.

I think I have another job. Scheduling will decide that...

All I feel like doing it watching movies in my bed. Only when i try to do that I get bored and sleepy so it doesnt really work out.

I have spent the last three days with Elyse doing nothing.

I have no money.

My dogs smell.

Harry Potter is fun to watch but I wish I had popcorn.

I have nothing to do today or tonight. Can't wait.

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 15:40:38 GMT

I got Miss Sandwhich... heehee. I like her.

And it's small so less stress.

Am I silly for being happy with such a small part? I like it. lol. IM A NUN! WOO!

I'm a happy girl. Yay!

Im hungry too.

Tue, 30 May 2006 18:18:00 GMT

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON THAT?
1. You hung out with?: Stephanie, Megan, Jeff
2. Rode in a car with?: Kelsey
3. Went to the movies with? Zach
4. You went to the mall with? Kalee
5. You went to dinner with? Elyse
6. Talk on the phone to?: Kalee
7. Made you laugh?: Kelsey

WOULD YOU RATHER?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue? nose
2. Be serious or be funny?: funny
3. Drink whole or skim milk? skim
4. Die in a fire or drown? drown
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?: parents

YOU PREFER

1. Flowers or candy? flowers... the smell pretty
2. Grey or black? black
3. Color or Black and white photos? black and white photos are gorgeous
4. Lust or love? love
5. Sunrise or sunset?: sunset
6. M&Ms or Skittles? skittles
7. Staying up late or waking up early?: up late

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY !!

1. Do you like anyone? no

2. Do they know it? no

DO YOU PREFER.

1. Sun or moon? moon
2. Winter or Fall? Fall
3. Left or right? right
4. 10 acquaintances or two best friends? 2 best friends
5. Sunny or rainy? sunny... but not hot.
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? chocolate

ABOUT YOU!

1. What time is it? 1:15
2. First and middle Name: Bailey C (hahah)
3. What do you want?: to be happy
4. Where do you want to live? not here
5. How many kids do you want? 3
6. Want to get married? yes, someday
7. Bad habits: laughing loud
8. Are you double jointed?: no
9. Can you cross your eyes?: yes
10. Do you make your bed daily? nope, too lazy

RANDOM

1. Which shoe goes on first?: i dont know
2. Ever thrown a shoe at someone?:yeah
3. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: twirl
2. Have you ever eaten Spam? no
3. Favorite ice cream? DQ
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? 3
5. Do you cook?: not really
6. Current mood?: meh

IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU ?

1. Bought something: yes
2. Sang: yes
3. Been hugged: UM...YEAH!!!
4. Felt stupid: well duh
5. Missed someone: yes
6. Danced crazy: not really
7. Gotten your hair cut: no
8. Cried: yes
9. Lied: d
10. Been kissed: depends on what we are talking about here...im gonna say no tho

Mon, 29 May 2006 16:34:25 GMT

Happy Memorial Day!

I only have one week and one day of school left. Finals and then I'm done. I'm not excited, but then again I am. I don't like school. And I am excited for not having to go to bed early so I can get up early. I can sleep in and hang out with my friends at night. I miss that.

I have auditions this week for "The Elephant Man." I think it's bogus that Hildreth chose that play. He knows that this year we have the strongest group of females, and he chose a play where there is ONE leading girl. ONE. So now we all have to fight for it. Why couldn't he choose a play where we have a lot of excelent female roles? Hmm? Geeze. I don't know, I'm just frustrated that he did that.

Im really sleepy right now... maybe because I stayed out late, hm? lol

VICE PRESIDENT!!!!!

Wed, 24 May 2006 03:45:30 GMT

Elyse and I are now President and Vice-President of Thespians... WOOO! We were freaking out! I love it!

I had so much fun at the Dustys tonight. The awards were all so wonderful and sweet. I love you all so much! I wish I was in your class!!!!

I need to go to bed, but I'm not tired. Lol.

Yay!

Wed, 17 May 2006 21:46:38 GMT

I have a major fear of breast cancer. I always have. I don't know why. My mother doesn't have it. I don't know anyone who does, but it's like this nightmare in my mind. Always there. I don't know.

That was random, but I thought I'd share.

I watched the entire first season of Grey's Anatomy today. It was nice. I love that show. And now I am sad because the season finale was on Sunday night so I have to wait for the second season to come out so I can watch ALL OF THEM. Heehee.

I wonder if my being absent so much from school is normal for someone with mono. I have been gone a lot because I am so tired. Some mornings I know that I can do it, but mornings like today, I can't even open my eyes and I can barely get out of bed. I hope I'm not screwing myself over. I'm pretty much caught up in all of my classes anyway.

I have to work tonight. I don't wanna but I gotta. I will miss Lost. Hopefully I can tape it and get all of it. It hasn't been taping all the way through recently.

I have trouble simply being happy. I can't let myself enjoy anything. I don't know why. I have just gotten in the habbit of doing it. That isn't exactly healthy but I am trying to fix it. I have so much to be grateful for but I can't seem to enjoy it or have fun. That's my goal this summer... to enjoy it. And be happy with what I have. Because I have a lot and it is selfish of me to not be happy with it.

This was a really pointless entry, but hey. It's my journal so there.

Tue, 16 May 2006 05:35:49 GMT

I can't sleep. What's new.

I watched the season finale of Grey's Anatomy tonight... oh yes. I love that show.

I went to school today. Only for a half day, but I felt better for going for that much rather than not at all. I feel much more calm about my school work and much less stressed when I am there and can talk to teachers about my stuff. It's easier.

I feel kind of stuck. I don't know if that's the right word I am looking for right now, but it fits I guess. I just feel so bored with everything. School, being sick. I am not looking forward to summer but then again I am.

I watched My Best Friend's Wedding today. And I watched it through this time, not just my favorite parts. Lol. When I got to the end and Michael comes and says goodbye to Julianne I just burst into tears.

happy mother's day, homies

Sun, 14 May 2006 14:09:15 GMT

I miss my friends.

I got to hang out with a bunch of them last night, but I just miss seeing them. I don't like being sick and not being able to be in comedy fest. I feel like I am missing out on everything at the end of the year.

I miss you guys. :(

Thu, 11 May 2006 19:16:00 GMT

I am home today again. After two days back at school, I am home again. I don't feel well and I am very tired and bored. I want me energy back!!!

I am scared for my classes right now. At least for math anyway. I don't know. I know that if I miss tomorrow I will be really behind in math and it will be hard for me to catch up. I didn't miss anything last week when I was gone, but I will miss more from today and tomorrow if I have to go on AD Day. I e-mailed pilch to see if I can not do it. I hope he doesn't make me. :(

I have been trying to watch movies all day but it hasn't gone over well. I keep getting bored and I want to sleep but I know if I do that I can't sleep tonight. Freakin mono.

I am excited to stay at Stephanie's this weekend! I love doggies!!! And I am just excited to do it. I don't know why, but I am.

Tue, 09 May 2006 00:48:38 GMT

I didn't sleep last night because I have terrible insomnia. I stayed home today to sleep. Hopefully tonight I won't repeat the horrendous cycle. I have not been able to fall asleep at night since I found out I had mono. It takes hours for me to finally pass out. Last night it took me tossing and turning for an hour and a half and then sobbing for 45 minutes before I finally wore myself out. I hate night time.

I emailed all of my teachers today to ask for work they could email me or at least warn me about what all I have to do when I come back tomorrow. Pilcher simple e-mailed me and told me that he named me features editor for next year. WOOT WOOT!

Oh yeah.. PROM WAS FUN!!!!! I am really happy that I was able to go. Stupid mom was right about me not going to post prom though. i felt like crap all of yesterday and my throat started hurting again because i was busy all Saturday. Also reason why I was tired all Sunday. And I came home at a quarter to 12 Saturday night. David was a wonderful date! Fun dancer too! I enjoyed my dances Gil and Sam very much as well.

Adam is my prom King, woo! And Sarah will always be my prom queen! Happy Birthday, Sarah!